What does my future lies?

MIDNIGHT!/ Thursday, September 27, 2007

Whee! I removed my braces on tuesday! Straight teeth! *grins* :D

I enjoy swimming, but I don't enjoy the treatment which my hair gets after swimming. It gets too dry. sobs.

Self-esteem is "…the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness". This two-factor approach, as some have also called it, provides a balanced definition that seems to be capable of dealing with limits of defining self-esteem primarily in terms of competence or worth alone. Maslow described two kinds of esteem needs — the need for respect from others and the need for self-respect. Maslowian self-esteem entails competence, confidence, mastery, achievement, independence, and freedom. Respect from others entails recognition, acceptance, status, and appreciation. Without the fulfillment of these needs, Maslow suggests, an individual feels discouraged, weak and inferior. Source: wikipedia.

We shouldn't be feeling confident of ourselves because of our tangible achievements. While we delight at being able to achieve good results, winning a competition, emerging as a winner in a competition etc., we should not use these accomplishments as a measure of our character, simply because it is easy to lose them. So if you feel confident about yourself just based on the excellent results which you have achieved, you will find yourself feeling worthless the next time round when you are unable to obtain good results. Therefore, instead of looking at what you have accomplished, seek for other intangible values in yourself. Everyone has their own strength! What we need to do then is just to look for it. And it's never too late to start seeking. And in this ever changing world, when we adopt, what kind of change will we ourselves undergo? Thoughts can change, but your character shouldn't. Hmm.

Past. Present. Future
9/27/2007 09:49:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Sunday, September 23, 2007

The past week hasn't been a happy week.

Although prelims ended on tue, I didn't exactly enjoy myself on that day. I went to the gym to get myself a workout and to feel happier, but though I left the gym feeling fitter, I didn't feel happier. I enjoyed the company with wynee, xf, meiying, and kenneth, but I was quite affected that my other friends stood me up.

Then I wasn't feeling well between wed and sat because of a running nose and it further worsened my mood.

Besides that, I felt extremely sad when I heard what happened and cried on thur and fri, And somehow, it affected my entire mood this weekend. I would study and then I would suddenly think of what had happened.

I left tuition irritated and annoyed about my tutor on sat, complaining but him together with yt and ari on our way home. However, who am I to criticise about him when I myself ain't perfect? Sigh. I just feel that if you become a teacher, it would be because you're passionate about teaching others and guiding others along, not because you want to earn more money. Because obviously, there are better jobs which can offer you more money if you are just concerned about monetary benefits.

I don't want to study anymore! Arghh. So depressing, I can't remember what I'm forcing myself to remember. Now that's a contradiction, but that's what I'm feeling right now.

Urgh. I'm feeling angry, sad, guilty, gloomy...any other negative moods but happy. And the feelings are all jumbled up.

:( :( :( :( :(

All that said, I don't want this post to be too depressing, so I shall upload some pics..

while xf and wynee shopped at far east, the 3 of us went hans to eat.

bouldering on wed with them! plus jon and jc..

Past. Present. Future
9/23/2007 09:12:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Saturday, September 15, 2007

3-1.
I only watched the last minutes of the Arsenal vs Tottenham match, but I thought that Arsenal played a great match. It was a beautiful last goal by Adebayor during the stoppage time, to seal the 3-1 score. Definitely a well played match. And now I wonder, whether the quality of match between Chelsea and Blackburn later on at 0015h will be of similar standard.

JJ said it didn't hurt when I hit his arm. So I asked him to hit me on the same spot where I hit him, to feel if it really hurt. It did. Perhaps I'm a sadist, but I asked him to hit me again on the same spot the second time. This time round, it still hurt, with the addition of internal bleeding. I think one of my blood vessels burst, because I saw red streaks on where he hit me. There's still a red spot there now.

see the redness??? sobss.

Janice and I met up again on friday! :) We had lunch at pastamania, then went to shop for diy's birthday present around j8. We debated between different gift ideas and in the end, decided to settle for writing little notes for her and then putting all the notes into a bottle. And as both of us prepared the gift at the j8 food court, many people stared blatantly at us. The typical Singaporeans.

On the bus journey home, for a change, I listened to Yes 93.3FM. Fabian had mentioned that there was this lame programme between 1700 and 2000h. He was right. I was umchio-ing, and trying extremely hard, not to laugh out loud, during the entire bus ride. So paiseh...=X

Prelims. Hmm.
I screwed up physics paper 3. :( Hopefully paper 1 and 2 will be better!
Maths paper was still okay, though I didn't have enough time to finish paper 2. sobs. I hope I'll do okay! =[
As for chemistry, I already lost a mark! :( I knew it was methyl orange, but I wrote down phenolphthalein instead! Urghh. The answer was in my brain, but yet I wrote the wrong answer!!!!! Rarrr.
Econs will probably my most confident paper, but then again, I made mistakes as well! Haix. Overall though, my results won't as bad compared to the CTs.
CONFIRM.
:)

4 more papers left, and it's all condensed into 2 days..jia you joycelyn! You can do it.

I found out that my bro's gf knows my new ec! wheeee. And she told me more about him! *grins*

Past. Present. Future
9/15/2007 10:46:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Friday, September 07, 2007

The feeling of sadness is happening ever so often now. And I don't like it! I don't want momo monster to come and disturb me. It's really dumb to cry practically every night.

Study study study.

Mr Hong treated 4 of us-yong biao, jonathan, yvonne and I, to jack's place today. Thank you Mr Hong. Now I feel really guilty, because the passion and dedication which mr hong puts into teaching us maths isn't reflected in my results. sobs. I'll continue to work hard!

to her: It's admirable how you can get over it so quickly! Next time, should the same situation happen to me, I hope to have the same courage as you did, to put what had happened behind and remember not of the hurt done to me, but instead, the love which has been showered upon me. And learn to move on.

Past. Present. Future
9/07/2007 10:53:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Tuesday, September 04, 2007

My parents want me to study at home. They're complaining that I keep going out and they don't trust that I'm studying outside, though I am. My results during the common tests don't prove that I am capable of studying outside of my house. Yet, I can't concentrate studying at home! There's too many distractions, the television being one of those major sources.

I'm really trying. Why am I not good enough?

Only one day at toa payoh library without any jacket and now I have a slight running nose. HMMPH.

Past. Present. Future
9/04/2007 10:23:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Monday, September 03, 2007

What's wrong with me?

I took a chinese dictionary to look for the definition of an english word. -.-"

I saw this english word and wanted to check out the definition. So I went to my bookshelf and started flipping through the CHINESE dictionary. It took me some time before I realised that I was staring at chinese words, put back the chinese dictionary and took out the ENGLISH dictionary.

What was I thinking??? sobs.

Past. Present. Future
9/03/2007 11:39:00 PM <3

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I've got a new eyecandy! muahaha. shhh. Cannot say who he is, except that he's not in ajc. But I think he's cute! hohoho. Siao. -.-" Must be too stressed out after all that mugging. haha.

Past. Present. Future
9/03/2007 09:25:00 PM <3

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