What does my future lies?

MIDNIGHT!/ Saturday, September 23, 2006

Helps. Sigh.

Don't wanna talk about it.

Past. Present. Future
9/23/2006 09:01:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Friday, September 22, 2006

I need to get more rest! I couldn't open my eyes on the bus today when it reached the terminal and had to force it open.

It's been interesting day with all the happenings going on! =)

Firstly, we did 110 survey questions during the class civics lessons asking us about how we feel about school, the learning methods which ajc used...blah blah blah. Surprising, that only took us around 15 fifteen minutes to complete it.

Then during chinese lesson, those not taking chinese plus terrance and adrian went to solve a deng mi-s which CLDDS put up. For every deng mi which you managed to solve, you get a mooncake. And my classmates managed to almost all the deng mi-s which they put up! Heard that weide is super pro at it and managed to solve more than 10 teng mi-s! *claps* In total, they managed to solve 20 plus teng mi-s, so everyone in our class, including miss cai got at least a mooncake each.

Do you know, it's recommend to eat only 1/4 of a mooncake a day? The entire mooncake contains more than the recommened amount of calories which we should consume a day. And I only know about it after finishing the entire mooncake!! Boo. Imagine the amount of extra calories!! *cries*

Besides that, we got our post promos timetable today too. There's alot of pw activities! And the activities mostly end in the evening. Boo. How wrong I was to think lessons would last for half a day.

Next, as terrance's birthday is tomorrow, we the guys decided to celebrate it for him today. He got tau-pok twice by the class guys! Super funny. Initially, the guys did it in between the audi doors but it wasn't very successful. So, we moved to one of the block 11 classrooms. All the rooms in level 2 were occupied, but because there wasn't any teacher around, we just borrowed one of the rooms for a while and tau pok-ed him.

Past. Present. Future
9/22/2006 10:07:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Thursday, September 21, 2006

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there

You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Past. Present. Future
9/21/2006 09:43:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Mood swings.

Argh. I'm feeling lousy now.

frustrated. hurt. angry.

bish bish bish. kick kick kick. punch punch punch. screams.

Whatever.

As in anyone will understand my feelings and be concerned.

I shall just shut the door.

Past. Present. Future
9/20/2006 10:18:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Sunday, September 17, 2006

I came across these scriptures druing service today. It happened to be on the same page as the scripture for today's serivce message and I found it specially reflective. After reading the scripture, I started thinking about the relationship with my brother. Deep down in my heart, despite of all the stuff which my brother has done to me, I know that after a while, I will always forgive him. I do want to win my brother over, but sadly, I just lack the skills to do so.

A Brother Who Sins Against You
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would pagan or a tax collector. -mat 18:15-17

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered," I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
...
"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." -mat: 18:21-22, 35

Past. Present. Future
9/17/2006 08:08:00 PM <3

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I had horrible nightmare on friday night. I can't remember what the nightmare was about though. After I woke up in the wee early hours on saturday, I had a hard time trying to fall asleep again. Haix. My first nightmare! Scary!

I haven't been very productive over this weekend. Sigh. Countdown: 2 weeks to promo. I'm not fully prepared at all. I'm so scared that I won't be able to make it. Argh. Why am I so undisciplined and unproductive? I must jia you now so that after the promos, I can tell myself that I've put in my best effort!!! I can do it!

Based on the signs which my body has is telling me, I can only conclude that I'm stressed out. And I can't imagine why, especially when I have only put in so little effort. I know perfectly well that I'm capable of doing more.

determination to do well for the promos + discipline to sit down and revise work without getting distracted for consecutive days (not just 1 or 2!) = less worries about the promos results.

To achieve what you want, you must put in effort; not just minimal effort but your wholehearted effort. You reap what you sow.

Remember proverbs 15:32!!!

Past. Present. Future
9/17/2006 07:39:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Friday, September 15, 2006

Miss Cai prepared something for our entire class today. During the holidays, she made this mini exam survival kit for each and everyone of us. On their own, each item seemed insignificant, but then the meaning behind all the items, to spend the time to think about what all these stuff represents, is actually quite meaningful. But quite alot of crappy reasons though.=P. Nonethelss, I'm touched by miss cai's concerns for 27/06 and what she has done for us! =)

The Exam Survival Kit

1. Chocolate- to keep you awake when you burn the midnight oil.
2. Sharpener- to sharpen your analytical skills.
3. Scotch tape- so that the stuff that you've learnt will stick in your mind for a long long long time.
4. Rubber band- to remind you not to forget to stretch and exercise even when studying.
5. Peanut- to remind you that you can go nuts studying, so do take good care of yourself.
6. Streamers- to brighten up your life when things do get stressful and to remind you to always look on the bright and happy side of life.
7. Marshmallow- a soft comfortable pillow to remind you to get enough sleep and to wish you sweet dreams.
8. Smoke- (you can't see it but it's there!) so that you can successfully smoke your way through stuff you forgot.
9. Buggy bears- to remind you to continue to suport each other.
10. Bag- to keep it all together!

Past. Present. Future
9/15/2006 10:19:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Tuesday, September 12, 2006

While yesterday was a terrible day, it has been compensated by the great day today! =)

I got back my maths test results today, and surprisingly, I didn't do as badly as I had expected. It was still below my expected expectation of an A, but then it's definitely an improvement from my previous test. I'm so happy that I have not lost my touch in mathematics! All I need more practice. And I know that I deserve such marks, because I have done sufficient practices in preparation for this test to achieve such grades.

PE today was quite enjoyable. The pe teachers taught us some kind of line dance in the sports hall and it was fun learning it.

After PE, yt and I went for dinner. We took a bus there and it was after I alighted that I realised that I had left my wallet on the bus! Gosh. I don't know why I was so careless. But thankfully, when I was rushing to the bus interchange, a kind soul returned my wallet to me. I was in a blur state when that guy returned me my wallet. My mind was on the bus driver so I was shocked when someone presented a wallet in my face. Nonetheless, I'm glad that there are plenty of kind souls around.

He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding-Proverbs 15:32

Past. Present. Future
9/12/2006 09:41:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Monday, September 11, 2006

What an unpleasant way to start term 4, week 1 monday. There's so many things that went wrong today.

Firstly, during physics lecture, I was caught talking. Out of the hundreds of students sitting in the auditorium, the lecturer signalled xingying and I out for talking. Argh. I feel so bad, dragging xingying down into the water together with me. It wasn't her fault at all. Yt was telling me that there would be econs remedial today. Apparently, there was a messgae passed down but then, I didn't receive it. Hence, I turned around, since xing ying was sitting behind me, and asked her about when, what and where the remedial will be held. And at this moment, the lecturer saw us talking. I suppose it was obvious that I was having a conservation since I turned my head around. Then, he called us to go to the stage, which we did, and we were asked to give a summary of the topic taught last lesson. Oh great. So suddenly, I've become infamous, something which I dislike. Trust me, I'll never forget what is superposition-interferrence.

After chinese lessson came mathematics lecture. Hmmph. The lecturer was rushing through during the entire lecture! She didn't even give us time to absorb or think about the question! Just go on and on and on and on. And assume that we can copy and understand all that she said at the same time. If there's anything which I learnt in that lecture, it's how to copy and draw. Couldn't she slow down?

Lunch, which was also horrible, followed after the maths lecture. The food which I bought tasted terrible. Even the appearance wasn't mouth watering at all. In fact, it tasted yucky. I don't even know how I managed to finish the food. It's just not my habit to waste. But lunch today is definitely the worst food which I have tasted. Suddenly, all the other food in the aj canteen looked more appealing and tastier.

Next, when I came home from school, my mom suddenly started nagging at me again. All the usual stuff.

Now that I've finished editing the WR and want to sent it to weide to print it out, MSN messenger just failed. "Temporay unavailable" it says. GREAT.

But despite of all the dreadful incidents which happened, I still thankful for what God has provided for me. I thankful that I have concerned friends around me, thankful that ms ng shared something with us today, thankful for turning away the lazy bug, thankful for the SMS-es which I've received...I'm sure that for whatever which happened today, God had a reason for putting me in all such situations.

I want to find something to smile about for today.

Past. Present. Future
9/11/2006 11:15:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Sunday, September 10, 2006

Hmm. I got to know someone new in the morning. And I only realise that he has something in common with him like a few moments back, in the evening! *smacks head* How slow can I get? When I got to know him, I only connected him to someone well known and not him. Him just didn't appear in my head. Until I thought about her.

By the way, names are not mentioned here cos it's not appropriate to mention the names yet. So yeah. Can't say too much.

And this is just a lame entry.

Past. Present. Future
9/10/2006 07:05:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Thursday, September 07, 2006

Excited excited! My brother, who seldom brings friends home, bought a friend home today. *Gasps* And that friend, is a GIRL! If I didn't guess wrongly, that girl should be his girlfriend! *Mouth gaping open in shock* The first!

Let's see, the girl has long hair, slightly tanned and is taller than me...she's not the pretty type of woman but charismatic in her own way. Then she has got a nice laughter and respects people (unlike the boyfriend). Generally, she seems nice but then, that's based on her appearance since I haven't had the opportunity to talk to her. And I don't think I'll talk to her. I'm good at acting dao! Haha. Hmm. If someone looks friendly, she can't be that mean right?

Past. Present. Future
9/07/2006 06:10:00 PM <3

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Sigh. Now all the feelings buried within are rushing back. If only he didn't say those words! Hmm. I mustn't think nor dwell on what he said too much.

We're just ~~special~~ friends.

Past. Present. Future
9/07/2006 12:43:00 AM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Tuesday, September 05, 2006

It irks me to see inconsiderate people around. Couldn't people just think about those around them?

On the bus to school today, more people started to board the bus and it got crowded. There was this guy on the bus who was standing in the middle and did not bother moving to the back despite there being a large gap between him and the person standing at the back. The people standing near the entrance hardly had any space to stand, and yet, he refused to budge.

Although I was sitting down then, I felt annoyed. Just imagine if you're one of those standing behind him. How would you feel, being squeezed and jostled around? Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable? And obviously when there's space in front of you, you should move forward, shouldn't you? That way, others can have more breadthing space and more passengers can board the bus.

So I can't imagine why that guy simply refused to move. What's so nice about that particular spot that he has to stand there? Not like there's money pasted at that particular spot which he's standing. Isn't in only sensible to give others less inconveniences? I wonder what that guy was thinking then. Weird.

As you learn to see things from another perspective, you'll learn new stuff and how to handle some problems...

Past. Present. Future
9/05/2006 10:16:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Sunday, September 03, 2006

This long weekend has been fun, enjoyable, pleasant, entertaining, delightful...=)

Sunday:
Was involved in the jalan kayu makan mania together with yt, sel, fabian and shawn, as facilitators. I woke up in the morning at 0700h, having slept for 12 hours the night before (super duper tired!) then went to meet them for breakfast.

I was super blur in the morning! I thought that bus no. 854 would pass by the area, but turned out that I was wrong. So, I had to walk 2 bus stops down to meet them..was too lazy to cross the road and take another bus.

All the facilators had to assemble at 0915h, where we were given a shirt and the final briefing for the race. After that, together with our partners (2 facilitators were attached to a team), we went to interact with the particiapants. Selina and I were attached to group 14, where there were 2 particpants, husband and wife. They're quite sweet!

At approximately 1120h, a bus fetched different teams to the different starting points. Our teams alighted in front of some temple area..I'm not too sure where's that place though. After looking at the clues, the couple went to their first destination. I think they've stayed in amk for quite some time, cos they know the area quite well.

Our first food checkpoint was at Lee Wee & Brothers' foodstuff, a place at realty park that sold otah. That was followed by thohirah restaurant, the famous foodstall at jalan kayu selling roti prata. And then, we went inside seletar camp to the 398 canteen. The uncle there is generous!! He gave us free drinks and food, despite us saying that we wanted to pay for them. And then. we went to tiptop currypuff, the place which PM Goh mentioned in his speech, and is located at amk central. The fourth station was naked fish, the restaurant inside the grassroots club. We had french fries there. Next, the team went to cactus cafe, this place that sold jap food and tried chawamushi (steamed egg). Super nice super nice! Hehe. Our last checkpoint was IMH, which is a physical fitness station. After completing that station, we went back to the RC to report.

Hoho. Team 14 came in second overall and got $200 cash! Yays. But too bad the money don't belong to me. Sniff. Nevermind, at least I got to taste some of the food! They were delicious! Slurp. Hee. All the place we went to had good food.

After everything ended, the 5 of us just simply stoned. We wanted to hang around somewhere, but couldn't think of a place to go to. Bleh. And so, we ended up going home.

I didn't feel like studying when I reached home, and decided to go bedok reservior for a jog. Just felt like running and I needed a change in environment. There's motivation to run at bedok reservoir rather than at the pathway opposite my house, because you don't have a choice. You can't turn back after running 2km at the reservoir, since it's a circular loop. You have to complete another 2.2km to go back to where you came from. Hmm. I ran approximately 4.5km. Sigh. Not satisfacted with my timing at all. Completed 4km in 25mins. How slow can I get! =(

Saturday:
President Challenge. I woke up at 0600h and was so tired...could hardly open my eyes. Not that I regret sleeping at 0430h. Okay, so I had to meet my fellow odacians at chinese garden mrt station at 0800h, but I was late! Sorry odacians, that you had to wait for me. I missed the train.

Altogether, 8 odacians (meiying, huizhen, fariha, stacy, rachel, vincent, jin ken plus me), 1 teacher (mr chin) and super seniors (sam, cecilia, yeehan, shuhui, jiaying, jeffrey, elaine plus others whose name i have yet to know!) particaipated in the president's challenge, where we did coastal cleaning and partnered with the HCI (sec) guys. We didn't really do anything much though. Most of the time, we formed rafts. And I didn't really know what to talk to my partner, gerald. I just taught him some basic skills on how to kayak since he didn't know of any skills. But, I enjoyed conversating with the people besides me when we formed rafts!

Hmm, after mr nathan came and i think he opened the ceremony offically or something (we couldn't really hear what was happening on land since we were in the kayak), we went to pick up rubbish from the coastal regions. I wouldn't say it was productive, since we only cleaned for approximately 30 mins? But then again, there wasn't a lot of litter.

We had lunch after beaching up. I think we're a pampered batch of people, because the lunch was quite good. Rice with egg, vegetables, chicken wing and nuggets. Plus a fruit too. And all that foc.

After lunch, we wanted to do dragon boating but then they kept the paddles. So we had to chose another alternative, kayaking. We didn't kayak on the dancer, but instead tired out a new type of kayak, malibu two. It's some kind of open kayak. Fun fun! Stacy and I jumped into the water thrice, pretending that we capsized. Heh. The weather was too hot you see! Then we did some suntanning too, plus tried to paddle sideways, had some competition..I do hope that we haven't given a bad impression of aj odac though. We weren't exactly very well behaved out in the lake.

Later on, we went to boon lay and had some food. Had a great time there too! We played some game at macs where we had to guess some unknown identities. Then on the train, back home, vincent wasn't allowed to talked for 15 mins. And amazingly, he did it. *claps* Way to go vincent! Haha.

And I can't believe that I'm so gullible!! Bleh. I got conned into thinking that fairha is from chij tp, when she's from naval base! Now i know. Only Meiying and Huizhen are from chij tp!!! Hmmph.

And do you know that boon lay smells of chocolate??

Friday:
Did PW from morning till afternoon and then went to have dinner with my family. We went yuki-yaki to eat since it was my brother's birthday.

The buffet food there's not bad, especially the fish. There's this fish seasoned with chili that's super nice! I was addicted to it. Haa. They provide more variety than seoul garden too. And then after that, I made my own ice-cream! It was quite fun making them! But, the taste was quite normal. The only nice favour was probably rum rasin.

And no, I didn't put make up that day. Seriously, I don't know why my brother thought i did.

I went to catch 2 midnight movies with anna after that, monster house and the devil wears prada. Hee. Had free movie tickets. =)

Monster house is scary, although it's in cartoon and the plot is quite crap. And I also don't know why I'm scared and keep grabbing anna's hands. Both of us just held on to each other so that we don't scream and embarrass ourselves. Oh wells.

On the other hand, the devil wears prada is a nice movie. Very different from monster house. It made me reflect on some stuff too.

Yupp. The end of this long post. =P

Past. Present. Future
9/03/2006 09:05:00 PM <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Friday, September 01, 2006

I'm so tired today! My eyes could hardly keep open during the bus journey. I was so afraid that I would miss my bus stop! Luckily, I didn't.

But well, today was a satisfying day. Teachers' day celebration in AJ ended early and we went back to cedar! We joined in their celebration. Fun fun! Haix. I miss cedar!

Hmm, after that, those going to orchard got a free bus ride! The teachers had lunch at hyatt hotel and the bus uncle said that we could get a lift if we were going town! Isn't that nice of him??

Heh. So selina, sophina and I went to far east and shopped around. Selina got a shirt, sophina got a belt and I got a present for my brother. Yays. Thanks to edward for being my model! haha. He looked hot wearing the green shirt. =P

Too lazy to type the other details! But I enjoyed myself! =)

Past. Present. Future
9/01/2006 12:00:00 AM <3

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